Wednesday 4 November 2009

SWIRLS OF WONDER - by Pixie J. King

A warm welcome to fellow 'Talkbacker' and our youngest contributor to date, Pixie, who's been itching to participate for a while now. Let's encourage her folks...

Swirls of Wonder

What would you do if I died tomorrow? Would you cry? Be happy? Would you even care?

In death, I wouldn’t have any hurt, any pain. I wouldn’t have to listen to your malicious words. I wouldn’t have to take your crap any longer. I would be happy. Free.

Do you realise, what I am going through boy? To you, tears are a sign of weakness. You frown upon me and my behaviour. You make my life a living hell.

Well I’m going to keep crying these tears. Tears of pain, as I notch another mark on my arm. It cries tears of red.

My eyes are mesmerised by the crimson swirls in the bath water. Diluting slowly, like my life, until it turns bland. My mind goes black as I make the notch deeper.

Then I remember...I don’t want to die. The truth would shatter my friend’s soul. My only friend. I promised to stay strong. Just for her.

I wonder what she would think when she logs in next time, only to find I never reply. Even when she gets back.

I wonder if that boy would be happy. Now I’m dead.

I’ve broken my promise. Shit.


  1. At long last you're on TKnC, Pixie!
    Congrats on a melancholic debut expressed beyond your years.

  2. Pixie,
    C.K. Andrew (Ceka) still can't comment for some reason so here's what she said:

    'It expresses unhappiness and regret rather neatly, well done.'

  3. At long last PJ. Emotional and dark, captures the pain of self harming. Well done!

  4. It would make more sense for the old to best describe the pain of living, but then I am reminded once again, it is often the young who capture it so well.

  5. Well done PJ. Your character's desperation, her loneliness and the way she deals with it is so distressing, showing what a really well-written piece this is.

  6. After reading this blog for a few months, reading all this great talent being hosted on here, I feel honoured to be a part of it.

    Thank you everyone who's taken the time to comment, and I want to just give a mention, if I could be allowed to, to say a huge thanks to Col and AJ, because without you two, my dream would still just be a dream, and not a reality...

    Now I'm waffling...but thanks everyone. It means a lot.

  7. brilliant story. Captures teenage angst, bitterness, loneliness and heartbreak in such a small amount of words. Pixie, said it before, say it again. You have one hell of a writing career ahead of you. Congrats many times over on such a great story and congrats to TKC for running it, too.

  8. Welcome Pixie. What a great piece of writing for your debut. Enjoyed i and look forward to reading more of your work.
    Regards, David.

  9. Pixie,

    This is terrific and frightening and awesome (in the correct definition of the word; I am in awe) and just done so right.

    I plan on Interluding this over at A Twist Of Noir.

    Again, wonderful story, despite (or perhaps because of) the sad content. I look forward to seeing more of your work and will be checking out your websites.

  10. Congratulations on a very well-written, emotionally-wrenching, suck-in-in type of story debut. Love the punch at the end. Very well done indeed.

  11. I look forward to reading more from you.

  12. Great work Pixie, looking forward to reading more.

  13. Great debut Pixie,

    I really enjoyed this piece and echo all the other comments.

    You are very talented and I look forward too much more of your stuff. Very well done!

  14. Absolutely fabulous. Well written. Brilliant.