Monday 2 August 2010

TOOTHACHE by Michael J. Solender

Our good friend Michael's back with...


Dr. Payne couldn’t lift her eyes out of the deep curving canyon that was her new patient’s cleavage. The new file write-up stated that the woman in her dental chair was forty-two though she was fit, tan and toned with the body of a college coed. Payne’s pulse quickened as she brushed her hand gently across Ms. Smith’s chest as she fastened a paper bib on her in advance of the routine examination.

Smith’s eyes widened and she flashed Payne a knowing, toothsome smile. Payne immediately recognized the universal signal that Smith was a player and open to advances from like minded women. She spun Smith towards her in the chair and looked her dead in the eye. Confirmation in these matters was crucial, particularly while engaged in professional transactions.

“You have the most delightful smile,” Payne said leaning into Ms. Smith and now getting a full and very close up view not only of her cleavage but her firm and rounded breasts in their gravity defying splendor, “I’m quite certain our time together will be short.”

“I certainly hope not, I can tell I like your touch already,” Smith was now teasing and obviously flirting as she spoke, she uncrossed her legs and hiking up her skirt giving Payne a hint of lacy black undies that framed a most agile and facile machine that Payne would never get the opportunity to operate. Of course Payne didn’t know that. She couldn’t know that.

As long as Smith, aka the Viper, was orchestrating this little charade, Payne was simply a logistic component in the Viper’s plan. A plan that relied on precision, detail and deceit to accomplish its endgame. Three components the Viper her prided herself upon.

“Perhaps we can have a drink after your appointment?” Payne was as hopeful as she was horny and dropped every ounce of doctor/patient decorum she held onto five minutes earlier, “You are my last appointment and my pied-a-terre is less than a five minute walk from here. Would you like that?” Payne felt herself getting wet in anticipation of the Viper’s response.

“If you promise that you’ll fuck me, we can go right now and skip the exam,” the Viper had her and was reeling her in.


When Jason Frasier was a small child growing up in Buffalo, NY he was the type that other children were afraid of. There wasn’t a dog in the neighborhood that hadn’t experienced Frasier’s tortuous taunting or a smaller child, usually a little girl that hadn’t been subject to his play doctor experimentations.

Expelled from more schools than he could count, Frasier’s final stint at a tough military academy, his father stated was his “last chance”, sheered the rough edges off of him and revealed a young man with quite a bit of raw intelligence and an absolute uncanny aptitude for mathematics.

Recruited heavily by all the Ivy League schools, Frasier chose MIT and quickly became a rising star, completing his PhD in the time most take to complete an undergraduate degree. That PanGlobal reinsurance recruited him into their derivatives department and paid him deep into the six figure range fresh out of school was not surprising nor was his mercurial rise in ten years time to a prime corner office as Executive VP over the department.

Frasier was made for the cut-throat world of reinsurance and was ruthless in his dealings. The little boy who kicked small dogs when no one was looking had never completely left the persona of Jason Frasier.

He was no less a prick to those lower on the corporate ladder either.

Adrianna Carchella was a drop dead gorgeous college coed at NYU. A math major, she was interning at PanGlobal and soon popped up on Frasier’s radar. She was not averse to banging the boss to help position her for graduation. For the entire summer he popped her every day in his office, never once even taking her out to lunch. When it was time for him to sign off on her paperwork for her school credit, he dinged her for incomplete work and told NYU there would NOT be a full time position awaiting Ms. Carchella upon graduation.

Upon learning the news from Frasier’s secretary, Carchella did what any self respecting girl in a similar position would do. She set out to get even and she immediately phoned a close family friend who she knew could help her.


“Don’t be silly sweetie, I’m so glad you called and I’ll be happy to address the situation in a way that will remove Frasier as an obstacle and assure you a plum spot at PanGlobal when you graduate,” the Viper’s mind was already plotting. “Auntie will fix everything for you.”

Italian girls from the old Bronx neighborhood had to stick together and Carchella’s mother was more than kind to the Viper and her single mom when she was growing up. The Viper promised Mama Rosa she would look out for her daughter and be there if she needed her. They got together often when the Viper came back to the city and Carchella was one of the very few people who had the Viper’s cell phone number.


“That’s the guy,” Boka told his brother. Thugs for hire, the Viper arranged for the Boka brother’s muscle in this situation. They had staked out a running track close to Frasier’s home. Frasier was getting his three miles in before dinner.

“She just wants us to pop him in the mouth, not hurt him anymore than that?” The younger brother smelled blood and was up for channeling more energy than this job would require.

“We’ve gotta break his teeth, that’s what these are for,” Boka showed off his brass knuckles as they made a slow steady walk toward Frasier who had paused for a drink.


Dr. Payne and the Viper were moments from “getting busy” in Payne’s walk-up when her phone rang.

“Yes of course, both front teeth, oh my! Yes I’ll meet you in my office in ten minutes.”

“Sorry,” Payne said to the Viper, “An emergency with a very influential and important patient, his teeth were broken in a mugging, I’ll get him out of pain and send him to the ER for the emergency oral surgeon to fix, I can be back here in an hour, will you wait?”

“Sure sweetie, I’ll take a nice hot bath, where is the bathroom?” The Viper waited for Payne to lead the way and then, with a tissue soaked in chloroform that she drew out of her purse, grabbed Payne from behind and knocked her out cold. The Viper grabbed her keys and slipped out to Payne’s office to await Frasier.

Slipping on a white lab coat, The Viper passed easily as an assistant and Frasier dutifully followed her instructions to sit in the operatory and await Payne who she said was on her way.

“We can get you numbed up and out of pain while you wait,” The Viper slipped a nitrous oxide hose over Frasier’s nose.

His teeth a mess and blood covering his shirt, he was hardly the bully the Viper expected.

“I’m getting very groggy,” Frasier mumbled.

“Perfect, that means its working, oh I do need you to sign these insurance forms.” The Viper slipped the pre-written glowing endorsements and recommendation for fulltime employment for Carchella into Frasier’s shaky hands. He signed them and immediately nodded off.

With that the Viper opened the valve to the nitrous full blast, gave Frasier a peck on the cheek, turned out the lights and locked up Payne’s office as she left.


“Oh Auntie, they have offered me a full time job at more than I was expecting, no Mr. Frasier to torment me and super benefits too!” Carchella squealed into the phone, delighting the Viper.

“That’s great sweetie, what kind of benefits?”

“Full tuition reimbursement, three week’s vacation, full medical and even dental!”

Michael J. Solender is always on someone’s shit list. He blogs here:


  1. HAHA, Mikey, I love these wicked people. Dr. Payne, perfect name, how clever. Gotta make sure the dentist doesn't ask me to sign any papers after I'm in the chair.

  2. I was hoping you'd get to the X-rated bits before the story ended. What a tease you are.

  3. WHat gory fun! And guess where I'm going tomorrow? Dr. Payne very well-drawn. Peace...

  4. Splendidly wicked and clever, Michael. Love it!

  5. I wish *I* had had an Auntie Viper!

  6. ...good job I didn't read this yesterday when I rang my dentist or I would have thought twice about booking my check up. (but I expect this story will come to mind when I'm in the chair.....eeeoooow!)

    Very finely crafted as usual, Michael, with all the layers of backstory woven in nicely!

  7. Michael, seriously, I'm beginning to think you have a "thing" for dentists! This one was just awesome - I loved it! And, like Madam Z, I want my own Aunt Viper.

  8. And here I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.

    Thanks. Thanks alot, man.

    Great read!

  9. Michael you always get horror from physical detail with your unique style, carving your stories with precision. Who couldn't love the Viper?

  10. Excellent cast of characters. This was totally addictive, waiting to find out what Viper was up to.

    A brilliant piece of writing Michael - as always!

  11. Dr. Payne is a delightful name for a dentist. Good to see the viper up to her tricks. I love the twisty path of this one.

  12. Mike,
    excellent tale. thanks for the great read.