Friday 19 February 2010

A GOOD SHOWA by Glenn Gray

Glenn's back with his own inimitable style...

A Good Showa

Damn, there ain’t nothin like a good hot showa.

Nice an burnin hot. Hey, you drippin all ova.

Throw me that towel, will ya, hot stuff?

Ah, you lookin all tan an muscula, ya know? You a hottie wit the body.

Now you talkin

Let me dry that back.

Lookit these abs, huh?

I could do some frickin laundry on them things.

And these guns.

A real-life bronzed God.

I mean, a good hot showa is like the key to everythin. The friggin key to life.

And it’s gotta have good presha.

Hell yeah. Good strong presha’s the best. Like gettin a massage.

Little fingas workin you ova.

Dancin around. Tickle tickle nice.

And I can put it you know where, hmmm?

Get outta here, yeah?

Why not?

Whateva works for ya.

Once in a while. In the showa. Betta with the hand-held extension thing.


Does things like nothing else does.

You dang horny puttana, you.

Watch it, Big Boy.

Sorry. You gettin me all worked up. Gimme the towel back, hah? I gotta dry something, know what I mean?

All I’m sayin is it works. Sometimes betta than a vibrata.

No way.

It’s got that constant rhythm and presha.

Works betta than this thing here?

You know we ladies don’t like when you flop that shit around like that.

You started it. All that talk about the vibrata and the presha.

That means you gotta swing it like a propella?

Just gettin warmed up. Stretchin.

For what?

You know what.

Hold ya horses, Bigshot. I’m not done with the presha. It’s just that presha is good. In general. Good hard presha. Pins an needles presha.

I gotcha. What about this thing ova here? I’lllll give you some presha.

I’m sure you will. If there’s no good presha, the soap leaves that scummy shit all ova you.

I know, right? You can’t get it off. Eva. Even if you scrub like hell.

Definitely gotta have good presha.

Presha I think is more important than tempature, ya know?

I think it’s just as important.

I guess.

So what’re we doin here?

I guess a half an howa this time.

Okay then.

How much that gonna bang me up?

Buck fifty.

Maybe you wanna get in the showa, hah?

No thanks. Do that on my own time.

It’s got real good presha.

Fuck off, hah?

Glenn Gray lives in New York. He’s got stories forthcoming in the 1st Beat to a Pulp Anthology, the 3rd Thuglit Anthology and Zygote in my Coffee’s 8th print edition. He’s also got stories in OOTG 3, 5 and 6 and a buncha places online.


  1. Good Showa? Good Butta? Whata nexta?

    Funny shit, Glenn!

  2. After that you could need a COLD showa.

    Love your way with words Glenn.

  3. Great Stuff Glenn..I will be smiling all day!
    Keep the stories comin.

  4. Glenn, keepin' the regional dialect alive! It's like an homage to Lowng Eyelind. (Nope, I don't think I really have it yet so I better stop here.) I like the foray into linguistics with a twist at the end.

  5. Nice story Glenn. A whore that rather be in the shower by herself. Thanks for keeping the NY accent alive.

  6. Nice twist. . .


  7. Thanks for reading, all. And to Col and Matt: cool job with the photo!