Saturday, 6 February 2010

TENDER by Victoria Jayne Lewis

I chose this as joint runner-up in Writers News Talkback's One Word Challenge. TKnC welcomes Victoria aka 'SA'...


We watch through the window as she strips to her underwear, climbs into bed and clicks off her lamp.

“This is the best part of my day,” I say. “Not seeing her undressed — although that’s fine by me — but watching her sleep.”

With a blush like rose petals in the snow and blonde hair cascading across her pillow, she looks like an angel.

“I can certainly see the reason for your… fascination,” he agrees cheerfully, although his serpentine grin is chilling. A fearful shiver races to my feet like a lightning strike surging for ground. “Are you sure this is what you want, Mike?”

The dark window is a mirror, my reflection a silver ghost. My love is in there, beyond the moonlit glass, so close but a million miles away. I want her enough that I’d pay any price to have her, even one this high.

I turn to the tall man beside me, and nod. “Yes, sir. I’m sure.”

“Come now, Mike. Let’s not be so formal. We’re going to be together a long while.” The Devil’s black eyes flash fire as he reaches out to shake my hand and seal our Faustian bargain. “Call me Lou.”

Victoria has always loved stories, and thinks writing is the best, most fulfilling, most terrifying, most awesome job in the whole wide world. She is currently working on a series of novels for young adults, and occasionally remembers to blog at


  1. Loved this flash chiller, Victoria. The Lucifer / Lou touch at the end did it for me.

  2. Excellent!!! My sister is a genious!! Luv ya xx

  3. Yes, a fine piece of writing Victoria. Looking forward to reading some more.

  4. love this story, amazing imagination, can't wait to read more, please.......

  5. Really enjoyed this sinister piece Victoria. Particularly liked the line '...a blush like rose petals in the snow..' - it's so visual.

  6. Thank you for all the great comments. I really appreciate the feedback. xxx