Sunday, 2 August 2009

BROKEN - by Col Bury


He sipped his Jack Daniels and began to reminisce…

‘Don’t be silly, son. I’ll always be around,’ were his dad’s last words to him before he’d run off with that harlot.

A home, broken.

‘I’ll stop drinking one day, kidder.’ But his mum didn’t - liver failure.

A bond, broken.

His army days were his escape, Johnny’s shoulder a comfort. The days of his life: the laughs, the banter. They travelled across barren terrain. He recalled the jokes were flying, the laughter peaking, when the bomb struck. He was blasted clear of the vehicle and hobbled back to the burning wreck, ears burning, his leg broken. Johnny was in two halves.

His body, broken.

Years of numbness, solitude followed. Then he met her, in a bar. Her smile was enough and he loved her from that moment on. Engulfed by happiness, marriage followed plus the obligatory two kids. He taught them values, loyalty: his life whole again. Then she met HIM.

Vows, broken.

Sucking hard on his cigarette he deliberated his next move, considering his kids. ‘I’ll always be there for you,’ he’d said. But he’d come full circle.

A promise, broken.

He gazed at the revolver.

A man, broken.

Col Bury is currently writing a crime novel and his ever-growing selection of short stories can be found here on TKnC, A Twist Of Noir, Six Sentences and Blink Ink. He blogs and interviews crime authors here:


  1. Morose as hell. Good writing, Col.

  2. Paul Grzegorzek2 August 2009 at 13:03

    Wow, I'm thoroughly depressed now mate, good job!

  3. Paul G - I aim to 'please!'

    Paul B - you okay?

    Matt n Lee - Cheers - a reflection of mood.

  4. Col, can you contact me I just want to ask you about your blog and can't find a link to email you or contact you.


  5. This is very well done. Poetic, of course.

  6. How many different ways can I spell jealous?

    This story was perfectly executed!

  7. Kazz,
    My email's on the right within the guidelines, but I'll email you anyway.

    Many thanks for popping over and for your kind comments.

    I'm blushing! Cheers, bud.

  8. Col, you're on track: The main character's reflection, throttles the pain and gets it across to the reader. Telegraphed sentence structure, brought it home.

  9. Really well done, Col. You can feel the man's desparation and deep sorrow. Great characterization.

  10. Such positive comments from such excellent writers.
    Many, many thanks.

  11. Wow! That was something else and so short too. Impressive. Thank you.
    Suzie B.

  12. Good piece of writing, Col, like the short sharp sentences.

  13. Hey,
    'Wow!' is a reaction I like!
    Thanks, Suzie.

    Many thanks.
    Small world, eh?

  14. Impacting stuff mate.
    Mart H