Thursday, 3 November 2011

MNF by Absolutely*Kate

Absolutely*Kate tells me she is a TKnC virgin. I find this impossibly hard to believe having read her work and listened to her incredible words - and believe me - you really do have to listen.

Kate's Hellicious Halloween story MNF is yet another unusual theme for the showcase, as I'm sure readers will agree. Please welcome her in, and open your ears as well as your eyes - for this is the unique voice of Absolutely*Kate...

MNF by Absolutely*Kate

Monday night's mood was intense in the press box. The Zagwars wanted to impose their wills on the Bravens defense. Brutally so. Blood and gore and more so. But some force was blockin' customary urge o'rage. I saw it. I felt the opposite energy. I was there in the sticky heat of Florida's juiciest Stadium with 67,483 fans who I sensed drank it in too. I tell you it was more than the ol' calendar turning edges to edginess, ending October midst week#8, the Halloween NFL scene. Somethin' just out of reach was spooking everyone. Oxymoronically, I felt it. Jim Flynn, next to me in the sound booth, dazzling his Blackberry with a frenetic performance like he was inches to goal in OT, was cussin' on 'bout heebie jeebies o'bad vibes all night. My bud Hank Jenkins down the line? Hell, he shot me the What the Fuck more 'n five times in the second-quarter. It's the look you see when you never saw somethin' comin' that you still see. That's about how it shook down that night. Well, how it shook me up that night, is more like it.

~ ~ ~ 

Night started like any Monday Night Football game starts. Home team arrives. National media coverage and camera crews set up. Vendors vend full force, shooting silver bullet Coors into the stands - the stadium gets jazzed. There's more than just good natured gridiron goin' on when the Zagwars' testosterone puffs and struts prime time. Decibels raise. Cheerleaders' cleavage dips far beneath any semblance of the Mason-Dixon line. (I dated both Jenny Mason and Dottie Dixon once or twice and they made an art form of that line.)

How I crossed that line though isn't tonight's glory story. Actually, that one would be a helluva lot easier to spiel my guts on as I knew what I went in for and what the score was, but this one - damn, this one's tough to figure, hard-pressed to report on.

You see, though thousands of screaming visitor fans were lined up when the Bravens stomped en masse through spiky wrought-iron gates to the stadium locker room, the excitement subdued. Players came in with heads huddled low, 'neath voluminous silvery black jersey hoods. No eye contact. Most sporting earbuds or headphones plugging them into zones a world away from their current fan base. Zombie like. Opposite energies.

When the game got goin' there was plenty of action on the playing field, yet negative yardage. Opposite energies again. Go figger. Not so much defensive/impressive as some mighty intangibles we were all jawin' eerie about upstairs. Me? I'm Jimbo Ray Jordan, vital voice of WFLO and I still can't rightly speak about what happened that night.

From the befuddled Zagwar's rookie quarterback to any penny-ante sports hack, word spread from the 50-yardline on, there were 13 men on the field - at numerous occasions. When refs' yellow flags eradicated monster moshpits of mass destruction tinted Zag-orange and silvery-black, the count showed a solid eleven. No penalty, no first-downs. Opposite energies.

Brutality brandished by brazen Bravens excruciated weirdness. Bonecrunching, gut-stomping crazed tackles, facemask-twisting, eye-gouging, even biting to beat the band. And the band was playin' loud. Enough blood slashed the red zone to dub it true.

Pocket presence? Pass protection? Nah. Muddled O-line men muttered from stretchers, demoralized and demolished. Never saw the fast faces looming under shadows of hard-hitting helmets. Yeah, lotta ugly in that Halloween game. Tricks? Plenty. Treats? Fagettaboutit!

~ ~ ~ 

It was the radio in my primo teal metal-flake Camauro, that better acquainted me with haunting truths. Peelin' outta the parkin' garage just about midnight, blowing a g'bye kiss to sweet little Millie's tollbooth, I got the signal coming in on local AM Sports Jive. Wanted to glean how juggernauts and knuckleheads butted heads post-game. Instead - still a pickle of a puzzle why nothin' made it over the wireservices or net when we were in Ogroveco Stadium, but the sad skinny that came down was . . . well, I really hate to have to tell you foks, but it was the Bravens' team plane. Yep. Came down in a ravine. Crashed down and crushed up like the end of a Crest toothpaste tube no one wanted to take a turn with anymore. Playbooks, coaches, tight ends, free safeties, reinforced helmets, dangling heads, firm shoulderpads, squashed shoulderblades, jostled jock straps and what squished in 'em were strewn over and under like bad odds in Vegas through matted, tangled, crimson underbrush. No pride there for them boys who'd been signed this season from Alabama. No pride, no prowess, no life for the boys signed on from any Big 10 or Eastern Conference leagues . . . no more, no how, no way I'm sorrowed to say. Every darn vestige of a divisional championship team flying high, now - grounded, lifeless, tragically cut from prime glories, lifelong stories. Report dubbed it a freakish accident. They had good weather comin' off the Coast - then a gaggle of geese, ironically in a classic red zone scoring V-formation, had entered airspace on a downwind. Feathered impressions clogged visions and all attempts to regain control from the tumultuous downward spiral. Opposite energies, I tell you. 

Rest in peace brave Bravens. 

ETA and proclaimed TOD by first EMTs on the NFL horrific crash scene were simultaneously three hours before gametime. The game? Oh yeah, the game ended in ignominious slaughter.

Some say the Zagwars never had a ghost of a chance.

Word on the astroturf was the debacle in N'awleans, NFL week #6, made some psychobabble fans more than usual sick. There was bad voodoo that they do comin' down, spinnin' round. I don't mess wit' dat stuff. Opposite energies of good football and bad magic aren't reality TV. This is prime time baby.

But then, who were - those guys?

This is Jimbo Ray Jordan, vital voice for WFLO,
saying, "G'nite Sports Fans . . . Everywhere."

© Absolutely*Kate
October, 2011 


ABSOLUTELY*KATE believes in believers, shadows of noir and moxie. World needs more moxie.

Showcasing AT THE BIJOU ~ "Where Writers' Raves are Readers' Faves", she creates virtual theatre for enticing the mind as authors centerstage. Sailing soon HARBINGER*33, heralding 33 stellar authors, 3 stunning artists and 3 scintillating authenticators, with 33 salutes fore and aft, midst - Aye, 33 ports o'call. . . . Percolating ~ THE ESPRESSO*CAFE ~ a robust brew of Author Promotion in Motion.


Absolutely*Kate, mighty proud in crimewriter crowd of GRIMM TALES. Fairytales take a shadow's turn - not the usual suspects. Releasing ala editor John Kenyon & Untreed Publishing. Predicted hit in any parade.

EBook Alerts! "HOLY MOXIE!" + "IF THE GUMSHOE FITS" in edit/design/pizazz stage.


Three novels in creation ~ where Detective Nelle Callahan and Ziegfeld Girls plug holes, dance showstoppers - enhance hard-boiled and soft-hearted. Meanwhile, the butcher, baker, cocksure candlestick maker and an Einstein timetravel tale trips the lights fantastic ~ THE VILLAGE SMITHY, excerpting AT THE BIJOU.

HOLY COLLABORATIONS! { in the dazzling works }

Cowboy-surfer HARRY B SANDERFORD and Absolutely*Kate knuckle 1-2 punches in ~ SWEET CHILI PHILLY. Get ringside baby ~ it's a November knockout.

Insightful Irish/Frisco scribe KEVIN J MACKEY and Absolutely*Kate stir social political foray in ~ THE 1976 SOCIETY.

Daunting noir/crimer AJ HAYES throws fedora into the shadowy ring with Absolutely*Kate for sultry espionage high jinx in ~ SPY-SIDE ECONOMICS.




  1. Crushed like a... "toothpaste tube no one wanted to take a turn with anymore" Sublime. A uniquely told fascinating thrill.

  2. A singular voice. Typically frantic fun.Lots of cracking lines in such a short piece of work.

  3. I'm dazzled and dazed. This was so much fun to read, Kate. Loved the way you kept the tale moving, while never missing an opportunity to riff. Your stories are a bit like jazz: there's a song in there, but you listen for the style - and you've got STYLE.

    Someone get this woman a podcast - these words beg to be sounded out!

  4. Dazzling is the word, Chris. Like early Dylan on speed. Spellbinding stuff, Kate. Those internal rhymes and that RHYTHM, lady, you can't teach that stuff.

    Brilliant :)

  5. Stick with AK and you'll wander stunned through wonderland. That's Damon Runyon meets William Gibson with Theloniouis Monk thrown in just because. Nicely jivy web of sporty woe spun by master DJ,AK.

  6. Wow, Kate! This story is noir as all-get-out! I'm just glad I got to read about this spooky game, as narrated by your excellent self, and that I wasn't there in person. RIP, MNF.

  7. Great fun and a great read - love the flow, rhythms, and flow of the words/sentences/story.

    This one rocks....


  8. Stylish and so unique - nice work, Lady K.

  9. Kate is the most. There's no other way to describe it. She's more than anything you've ever read before in your life. Dazzling, darlin'. All my love for your great big ol' heart full of those wacky stories. You inspire, baby.

  10. You've taken it to the edge again, Kate. Talk about pizazz. Always love reading your work - there is 'absolutely' nothing else that comes even close to your voice.
    Fine penning!

  11. Kate is a lady wordsmith of the finest order. Many sparkling jewels among this excellent piece of writing.

  12. So much to like there. You could go through this story so many times and keep finding more to like. It was a wild ride all the way through and I loved the twist and how you wrappped everything up in the end. You captured the true spirit and feel of gameday. The action in the game had me thinking about a twisted version of "The longest Yard".

  13. Can I just say that this is ... a TOUCHDOWN!

  14. The old adage, "marches to the beat of a different drum" does not begin to describe Miss A*K's rhythmic stylings. Marching is for conformists. Out there and outright outstanding, Katie*Girl!

  15. Wonderful writing. Nothing predictable about it.

  16. Kate*, I came to the game late. Dropped my popcorn and spilled my beer. It's all been said.
    But I'm here to say...

    "Two, Four, Six, Eight who do we appreciate?"
    KATE* that's who.

    Jeanette Cheezum

  17. Alliterative ambience amounting to a wonderfully fraught tale with a high end huddle. With line like these I'd back 'er

  18. Lilting Lily ~ twas delicious to earn my stripes in your Hellicious @ first foray into TKnC. Grace o'thanks plus applause for the whole shebang of a horrific show you're scaring up here. I passed Col, Matt and Lee on my way in -- feet up, brandies poured, cigars lit, mumblin' somethin' 'bout "Our Lil has the shows in hand. We can relax and sell our books." ;-)

    To be in the broadband spectrum of author-colleagues and those I'm gleaning to intuit is as high as the joy of watchin' words have their way with your mind. That's happened here, in the sensing and scribing and the triumph of receiving kind words from international talents I salute. "But gosh," gushes Kate, "you guys all took me past the stadium of dreams into rhythmic realms I'm still doin' the happy dance to! Somethin' between a polka and a tango. Go figger."

    ~ Absolutely*Kate,
    honoured to be part of your terrific horrifics

  19. @J Bramwell the Slater ~ Sir, I'll do sublime for you anytime. Thanks for pickin' out one of my fave lines.

    @Thrill o'Brazill ~ Frantic fun is the most memorable, eh mate?

    @Chris the Allinotte ~ Damn, but grooved to how you got it, you got it. One should always just listen to the jazz inside find its way out.

    @Ian ~ "Like early Dylan on speed"? Oh man - that's goin' up on my wall o'greatest grins -- Sittin' on top o'the world.

    @AJ ~ Clyde, I'd play Misty for you any dark day of the week, even after midnight - Special thanks for pre-readin' this piece and blowin' no whistles on my plays

    @Madam Z ~ Knew I recognized that cheerleader uniform. Past the pompoms, you always get the yardage an author's play pattern is headed. Thanks pal.

    @Kevin ~ Hey music man - Dig that you dig the flow (both of 'em) ... and love that show you got goin' on AT THE BIJOU. NOIR, you say?

    @precious Jools ~ A 'stylish' from you dresses up my day

    @Stina ~ Big Hearts & Wacky Stories <Now there's a title waitin' to happen. Appreci'kate enthuse you bring

    @Chris the Rat-a-tat-Rhatigan ~ Always cool when you take the ride

    @Erin the cool Cole ~ Humbled I am Lady. You seem to be around whenever 'voice' does some 'emit' I just watch happen. (How do you do that?)

    @sparkle of Daz ~ Buddy, you wanta write some blurbs on my bookcovers? Appreci'kate to the hilt

    @Sean Patrick ~ Funny, I saw felt some of that bone-crunching slow-mo scene from The Longest Yard in my psyche when this gamepiece was playin' out. Perhaps it's You I stick those liner notes in for the rereads. Man I like how you like fellow-authors!

    @Ant ~ I just like you as scorekeeper!

    "wow Har" ~ bespoke softly. Thanks oh writing chum from when we all begun this wild and wonders-full beguine of the tip, tap, typing keyboard

    @Ms Patti ~ You urge writers to be better writers. Grace o'my thanks Lady

    @Lady J, Jeanette Cheezum, Goddess Mother of Brilliant Authors, she's been dubbed ~ I knew that mess in the audience was from you at glee. How fortuitous to share writing worlds with the class of You

    @the Graham Man ~ You had me on 'high end huddle', Sport. Gosh, ya give a gal a reason for the end zone dance

  20. Game played in the only way you could tell it. Wonderful lines Kate, wacky humour and a magical mixing bowl of words that could only tumble from your sweet lips!

  21. Kate, edgy writing is something I appreciate, a magical way with words here that entertained me this cold night.

  22. I'm late to the party. How did I miss.

    Never stood a ghost of a chance, no.

    What amazes me is how someone can be so playful with language and yet keep is so darned tight. I suppose it makes sense that a big vocabulary should make it easier, but AK is an eclectic and uses her talent for the good.


  23. That was Kate, Absolutely.

    Three times I had to read this - three times - and I still think there is more in it to find.

    You are a gem, Kate.

    Paulie (with the accent!)

  24. What a bloomin' début! I actually think me head is gonna pop!

    Kate, your word extravaganza sure is summat to behold, lady.

    As we say in our MNF: "GOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!!!"

    Great to have you over here.


  25. Well Kate.. No doubt about it.. That was something else.xx